I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
