foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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