atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
