So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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