This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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