Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
