just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
