I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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