I heard we made out
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
