My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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