it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
