Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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