i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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