I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
they're like a gay fantastic four
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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