i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
