I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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