walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
