I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
