There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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