im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
