As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
