Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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