I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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