you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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