hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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