remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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