I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
