yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
