dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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