she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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