Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
