I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
