i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
