the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
