hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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