Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
