I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
