Can i not drive my cunt home
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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