A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
