my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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