Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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