His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
