Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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