not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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