I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
is wine microwaveable?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
