There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
