My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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