is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
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