I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
