Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
