I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i already hear my dad disowning me
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
