whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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