Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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