you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
