Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
