Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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