we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
