i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
