did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
