Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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