you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
